L. Ron Hubbard Way
We here at Prairie Oyster have decide to get creative with our 50. To break up the monotony, the editors have decided from time to time the 50 will have a specific theme. SO...
In honor of Tom's accension to the Operating Thetan IV level, Katie's conversion AND THEIR IMPENDING NUPTIALS, I give you the Scientology 50.
Free seminar* after you're done. Please meet your counselor at the Celebrity Centre to evaluate your score. You may be in need of some serious help.
*Brainwashing included.
[Note: Except for the obvious, these are all questions taken from the Official Scientology Personality Test]
1. Do you make thoughtless remarks or accusations you later regret?
2. Do you browse through railway timetables, directories, or dictionaries for pleasure?
3. Katie's lip marks...please discuss.
4. Do you get occasional twitches of your muscles, when there is no logical reason?
5. Do you have a small circle of close friends, or a large group of acquaintances?
6. Who is your fave Scientologist?
7. Is your voice monotonous, rather than varied in pitch?
8. Are you often impulsive in your behavior?
9. What kind of impulsive behavior do you exhibit?
10. Would the idea of inflicting pain on game, small animals or fish prevent you from hunting or fishing?
11. Do you find yourself being extra active for periods lasting several days?
12. How do you keep yourself active for that time?
13. Do you often sing or whistle just for the fun of it?
14. Are you considered warm-hearted by your friends?
15. Chuck, Fuck, or Marry: John Travolta, Sonny Bono, or Tom Cruise?
C:
F:
M:
16. Is your life a constant struggle for survival?
17. Will you be seeing "The War of The Worlds"?
18. Do you enjoy telling people the latest scandal about your associates?
19. Can you show your emotions easily?
20. Would you admit you were wrong just to keep the peace?
21. Are there people in your life that are definately unfriendly to you and work against you?
22. Scientologist or Not: Juliette Lewis?
23. What does the L. stand for in L. Ron Hubbard?
24. Would you use corporal punishment on a child (aged 10) if it refused to obey you?
25. Can you "start the ball rollling" at a social gathering?
26. Do you take vitamins?
27. If so, what?
28. If you saw something in a store obviously priced incorrectly, would you try to get it for that price?
29. Do you often feel people are talking about you behind your back?
30. Guesstimate how much money one must pay to reach the level that Tom Cruise is at in the Church of Scientology.
31. Scientologist or Not: Giovanni Ribisi?
32. Have you a particular hate or fear?
33. If yes, what?
34. Would you buy on credit with the hope that you can keep up the payments?
35. Do you think we should spend more money on social security?
36. Do you think you have ever been in contact with an alien?
37. Do you keep tabs on things you have loaned your friends?
38. Are you so self assured that it sometimes annoys others?
39. Scientologist or Not: Leah Rimini?
40. Would you rather sit through a 6 hour Scientology seminar on clearing the mind, or pick up dead animals on the side of the road for 2 hours?
41. Do you bit your fingernails or chew the end of your pencil?
42. Are you always collecting things that might be useful?
43. Do you tend to be jealous?
44. Are you a slow eater?
45. Do you feel you talk too much?
46. Would it take a definite effort on your part to consider suicide?
47. Scientologist or Not: William Shatner?
48. Do you sometimes wonder if anyone really cares about you?
49. Is your facial expressions varied rather than set?
50. Dou you consider yourself a spoilsport?
posted by Miss Lizard @ 2:02 PM
4 Comments:
1. Do you make thoughtless remarks or accusations you later regret? All the time
2. Do you browse through railway timetables, directories, or dictionaries for pleasure? only phone books
3. Katie's lip marks...please discuss. That's Hot!
4. Do you get occasional twitches of your muscles, when there is no logical reason? uh, yeessss
5. Do you have a small circle of close friends, or a large group of acquaintances? a large circle of small friends
6. Who is your fave Scientologist? ribisi's sister
7. Is your voice monotonous, rather than varied in pitch? I'm monotonous, does that count?
8. Are you often impulsive in your behavior? affirmative
9. What kind of impulsive behavior do you exhibit? none
10. Would the idea of inflicting pain on game, small animals or fish prevent you from hunting or fishing?
no
11. Do you find yourself being extra active for periods lasting several days? never
12. How do you keep yourself active for that time? I don't
13. Do you often sing or whistle just for the fun of it? just whistling
14. Are you considered warm-hearted by your friends? yes
15. Chuck, Fuck, or Marry: John Travolta, Sonny Bono, or Tom Cruise?
juliette lewis: fuck
ribisi's sister: fuck
katie holmes: fuck
kirstie alley: chuck
Dharma (not greg): fuck
Man, scientology chicks are Hot!
16. Is your life a constant struggle for survival? no
17. Will you be seeing "The War of The Worlds"? absolutely
18. Do you enjoy telling people the latest scandal about your associates? yes
19. Can you show your emotions easily? yes
20. Would you admit you were wrong just to keep the peace? never, ever ever
21. Are there people in your life that are definately unfriendly to you and work against you? only the ones whose voices I hear in my head
22. Scientologist or Not: Juliette Lewis? of course she's a scientologist, she's so hot!
23. What does the L. stand for in L. Ron Hubbard? LUCIFER
24. Would you use corporal punishment on a child (aged 10) if it refused to obey you? Not if the child wasn't mine!
25. Can you "start the ball rollling" at a social gathering? what kind of a ball
26. Do you take vitamins? yes
27. If so, what? vicodan
28. If you saw something in a store obviously priced incorrectly, would you try to get it for that price? yes, duh.
29. Do you often feel people are talking about you behind your back? No, only in my head.
30. Guesstimate how much money one must pay to reach the level that Tom Cruise is at in the Church of Scientology. 350 - 750K
31. Scientologist or Not: Giovanni Ribisi? His sister is, so he must be.
32. Have you a particular hate or fear? I'm frightened of thetans, that occupy my body and soul.
33. If yes, what? See #32
34. Would you buy on credit with the hope that you can keep up the payments? yes
35. Do you think we should spend more money on social security? no
36. Do you think you have ever been in contact with an alien? yes, I was once abducted as a child, taken to a shiny silver spaceship, and interrogated by spooky aliens, before being returned to the grateful dead concert.
37. Do you keep tabs on things you have loaned your friends? no
38. Are you so self assured that it sometimes annoys others? no
39. Scientologist or Not: Leah Rimini? Republican
40. Would you rather sit through a 6 hour Scientology seminar on clearing the mind, or pick up dead animals on the side of the road for 2 hours? Pick up the dead animals, cook them and eat them.
41. Do you bit your fingernails or chew the end of your pencil? no
42. Are you always collecting things that might be useful? See roadkill answer in #40 above
43. Do you tend to be jealous? no
44. Are you a slow eater? no
45. Do you feel you talk too much? no
46. Would it take a definite effort on your part to consider suicide? I'm more of a cutter
47. Scientologist or Not: William Shatner? hmmmm, let's say not.
48. Do you sometimes wonder if anyone really cares about you? no
49. Is your facial expressions varied rather than set? yes
50. Dou you consider yourself a spoilsport? absolutely
1. Do you make thoughtless remarks or accusations you later regret? Absolutely
2. Do you browse through railway timetables, directories, or dictionaries for pleasure? yes-I fins them quite fascinating
3. Katie's lip marks...please discuss. The aliens did experiments to get Tom's DNA off her lip so they can clone him and he'll take over the world...oh wait-that's that movie he's starring in.
4. Do you get occasional twitches of your muscles, when there is no logical reason? yes-it's called getting old
5. Do you have a small circle of close friends, or a large group of acquaintances? Small circle
6. Who is your fave Scientologist? Beck
7. Is your voice monotonous, rather than varied in pitch? monotonous
8. Are you often impulsive in your behavior? Yes
9. What kind of impulsive behavior do you exhibit? stealing things, shouting really loud in public places like a retard (A la Rosie)
10. Would the idea of inflicting pain on game, small animals or fish prevent you from hunting or fishing? NO-they are tasty
11. Do you find yourself being extra active for periods lasting several days? Maybe several minutes, but not several days
12. How do you keep yourself active for that time? clean my apt., swim
13. Do you often sing or whistle just for the fun of it? Sure
14. Are you considered warm-hearted by your friends? not really :)
15. Chuck, Fuck, or Marry: John Travolta, Sonny Bono, or Tom Cruise?
C:Travolta
F:TomKat
M:Sonny
16. Is your life a constant struggle for survival? YES
17. Will you be seeing "The War of The Worlds"? Maybe, but only to see Dakota. She's sooo talented
18. Do you enjoy telling people the latest scandal about your associates? Of course-doesn't everyone?
19. Can you show your emotions easily? Too easily
20. Would you admit you were wrong just to keep the peace? NEVER
21. Are there people in your life that are definately unfriendly to you and work against you? YES
22. Scientologist or Not: Juliette Lewis? True
23. What does the L. stand for in L. Ron Hubbard? Lame...or Larry
24. Would you use corporal punishment on a child (aged 10) if it refused to obey you? Hell yes-where's the wooden spoon?
25. Can you "start the ball rollling" at a social gathering? I am the ball
26. Do you take vitamins? try to, but I forget
27. If so, what? Source of Life, calcium
28. If you saw something in a store obviously priced incorrectly, would you try to get it for that price? Fuck yeah
29. Do you often feel people are talking about you behind your back? I think everyone talks about everyone behind their backs
30. Guesstimate how much money one must pay to reach the level that Tom Cruise is at in the Church of Scientology. $360,000
31. Scientologist or Not: Giovanni Ribisi? True
32. Have you a particular hate or fear? Yes
33. If yes, what? Fear of Scientologists, spiders, dying ion a fiery plane crash. Hate cults, ignorance, racism
34. Would you buy on credit with the hope that you can keep up the payments? Been there, done that...didn't go so well
35. Do you think we should spend more money on social security? Only if our generation is going to reap the benefits
36. Do you think you have ever been in contact with an alien? I think my boss may be one
37. Do you keep tabs on things you have loaned your friends? No, but I should
38. Are you so self assured that it sometimes annoys others? No-i am a neurotic mess haha
39. Scientologist or Not: Leah Rimini? True
40. Would you rather sit through a 6 hour Scientology seminar on clearing the mind, or pick up dead animals on the side of the road for 2 hours? Dead animals, please
41. Do you bit your fingernails or chew the end of your pencil? no, but I pick my cuticles
42. Are you always collecting things that might be useful? no-I believe in sparse living
43. Do you tend to be jealous? depends. I'm jealous of Nicole's friendship with Lindsay. I'm jealous that Posh gets to wake up to Becks every morn...sigh
44. Are you a slow eater? no, but I should be. Eating fast makes you fat
45. Do you feel you talk too much? YES
46. Would it take a definite effort on your part to consider suicide? To draw blood, yes. Pills, nah
47. Scientologist or Not: William Shatner? True
48. Do you sometimes wonder if anyone really cares about you? All the time
49. Is your facial expressions varied rather than set? always set
50. Dou you consider yourself a spoilsport? Hell yeah. I get great pleasure raining on your parade HAHAHA
Do you make thoughtless remarks or accusations you later regret?Yes
2. Do you browse through railway timetables, directories, or dictionaries for pleasure?Rarely
3. Katie's lip marks...please discuss.Clamidia (SP)
4. Do you get occasional twitches of your muscles, when there is no logical reason?Yes
5. Do you have a small circle of close friends, or a large group of acquaintances?ASmall Circle, Close Friends
6. Who is your fave Scientologist?Kelly Preston
7. Is your voice monotonous, rather than varied in pitch?Varied
8. Are you often impulsive in your behavior?Yes..
9. What kind of impulsive behavior do you exhibit?Swearing I wouldn't get drunk at my Moms retirement, and getting wasted...Open Bar ..Grey Goose, what can you lose?
10. Would the idea of inflicting pain on game, small animals or fish prevent you from hunting or fishing?YES
11. Do you find yourself being extra active for periods lasting several days?YES
12. How do you keep yourself active for that time?Xenadrine
13. Do you often sing or whistle just for the fun of it?Yes
14. Are you considered warm-hearted by your friends? Some of them :)
15. Chuck, Fuck, or Marry: John Travolta, Sonny Bono, or Tom Cruise?
C:Travolta
F:Cruise
M:Bono
16. Is your life a constant struggle for survival?Oh God Yes
17. Will you be seeing "The War of The Worlds"?Probably
18. Do you enjoy telling people the latest scandal about your associates?Oh Yes
19. Can you show your emotions easily?
20. Would you admit you were wrong just to keep the peace? Depends on whose Peace
21. Are there people in your life that are definately unfriendly to you and work against you?YES
22. Scientologist or Not: Juliette Lewis?Oh I hope Not
23. What does the L. stand for in L. Ron Hubbard?Lypo
24. Would you use corporal punishment on a child (aged 10) if it refused to obey you?Depends on whose Child
25. Can you "start the ball rollling" at a social gathering?yes
26. Do you take vitamins?Sometimes
27. If so, what?Does Black Eldeberry Count
28. If you saw something in a store obviously priced incorrectly, would you try to get it for that price?Depends on what..and if it were cheaper or more expensive
29. Do you often feel people are talking about you behind your back?Oh I hope so
30. Guesstimate how much money one must pay to reach the level that Tom Cruise is at in the Church of Scientology.$10 million
31. Scientologist or Not: Giovanni Ribisi? Very Possible
32. Have you a particular hate or fear?Yes
33. If yes, what?Bugs anmd DArk Meat Chcicken
34. Would you buy on credit with the hope that you can keep up the payments?yes
35. Do you think we should spend more money on social security?Yes
36. Do you think you have ever been in contact with an alien?Yes
37. Do you keep tabs on things you have loaned your friends? Yes
38. Are you so self assured that it sometimes annoys others?Yes
39. Scientologist or Not: Leah Rimini?Who Cares, they can have her
40. Would you rather sit through a 6 hour Scientology seminar on clearing the mind, or pick up dead animals on the side of the road for 2 hours? I would try the seminar..couldn't hurt
41. Do you bit your fingernails or chew the end of your pencil? Bite the nails
42. Are you always collecting things that might be useful? yes
43. Do you tend to be jealous? Yes
44. Are you a slow eater?No
45. Do you feel you talk too much? Yes
46. Would it take a definite effort on your part to consider suicide? yes
47. Scientologist or Not: William Shatner? Oh I hope not, nut it would make sense
48. Do you sometimes wonder if anyone really cares about you?Yes
49. Is your facial expressions varied rather than set? Varied
50. Dou you consider yourself a spoilsport? YES
1. Do you make thoughtless remarks or accusations you later regret? Yes, occasionally
2. Do you browse through railway timetables, directories, or dictionaries for pleasure? I used to peruse the college phonebook. It said where everyone was from.
3. Katie's lip marks...please discuss. Herpes, absolutely.
4. Do you get occasional twitches of your muscles, when there is no logical reason? Sometimes, not often.
5. Do you have a small circle of close friends, or a large group of acquaintances? Small circle
6. Who is your fave Scientologist? John Travolta
7. Is your voice monotonous, rather than varied in pitch? Nope, not monotonous.
8. Are you often impulsive in your behavior? Uhm, not really.
9. What kind of impulsive behavior do you exhibit? N/A
10. Would the idea of inflicting pain on game, small animals or fish prevent you from hunting or fishing? Yes.
11. Do you find yourself being extra active for periods lasting several days? No, I'm very lazy.
12. How do you keep yourself active for that time? N/A
13. Do you often sing or whistle just for the fun of it? No.
14. Are you considered warm-hearted by your friends? Yes.
15. Chuck, Fuck, or Marry: John Travolta, Sonny Bono, or Tom Cruise?
C: Tom Cruise
F: Sonny Bono (he's dead so I wouldn't really have to fuck him)
M: John Travolta
16. Is your life a constant struggle for survival? Money-wise? Yes.
17. Will you be seeing "The War of The Worlds"? On video
18. Do you enjoy telling people the latest scandal about your associates? Yes!
19. Can you show your emotions easily? Yes.
20. Would you admit you were wrong just to keep the peace? Yes, but it would be hard.
21. Are there people in your life that are definately unfriendly to you and work against you? I'm not sure.
22. Scientologist or Not: Juliette Lewis? Yes.
23. What does the L. stand for in L. Ron Hubbard? Louis
24. Would you use corporal punishment on a child (aged 10) if it refused to obey you? No...I say that now!
25. Can you "start the ball rollling" at a social gathering? Depends on who is there.
26. Do you take vitamins? No, but I really need to.
27. If so, what? N/A
28. If you saw something in a store obviously priced incorrectly, would you try to get it for that price? Yes.
29. Do you often feel people are talking about you behind your back? Yes!
30. Guesstimate how much money one must pay to reach the level that Tom Cruise is at in the Church of Scientology. 2 million
31. Scientologist or Not: Giovanni Ribisi? Yes.
32. Have you a particular hate or fear? Fear of dying.
33. If yes, what? Dying, plane crashes, etc. Normal stuff that everyone fears.
34. Would you buy on credit with the hope that you can keep up the payments? No, b/c I know I couldn't.
35. Do you think we should spend more money on social security? Yes. I want to be taken care of when I'm old.
36. Do you think you have ever been in contact with an alien? No.
37. Do you keep tabs on things you have loaned your friends? Not really.
38. Are you so self assured that it sometimes annoys others? Don't know.
39. Scientologist or Not: Leah Rimini? Not.
40. Would you rather sit through a 6 hour Scientology seminar on clearing the mind, or pick up dead animals on the side of the road for 2 hours? Seminar. I'd cry if I had to do the animal thing.
41. Do you bit your fingernails or chew the end of your pencil? No.
42. Are you always collecting things that might be useful? Just junk that I don't need.
43. Do you tend to be jealous? Sometimes, but usually things like 'oh, i'm jealous she has her summers off.'
44. Are you a slow eater? No, a fast one.
45. Do you feel you talk too much? No.
46. Would it take a definite effort on your part to consider suicide? Absolutely. Suicide is a waste.
47. Scientologist or Not: William Shatner? Yes.
48. Do you sometimes wonder if anyone really cares about you? No.
49. Is your facial expressions varied rather than set? Varied.
50. Dou you consider yourself a spoilsport? A what?
Post a Comment
<< Home