Slackers

Feast or famine, kids. We can't always spoil you. Le Bean is off sealing a multi million dollar, three picture deal, while I'm up to my eyeballs in court crap. Trying to save Michael Jackson from being tossed in the slammer with only his pajamas and a bar of soap is not easy. So forgive us, and next week we'll even toss in a link or two to keep you quiet.

The Freshman 50 (vol. 3) TGIF...

1. Fave brand and type of gum?
2. Who would you set Aniston up on a date with?
3. Wine or beer?
4. What brand/type (of said alcoholic bevs.)?
5. Fave Sci-fi movie?
6. Broken any limbs? what and how?
7. Porn-dirty or necessary?
8. Chuck, Fuck or Marry: Corky from "Life Goes On", Gary Coleman, or Screech from SBTBell?
C:
F:
M:
9. Fave trashy mag?
10. 7up or Sprite?
11. Beach bums: favorite beach?
12. Ugliest celebrity?
13. Do you play the lottery?
14. Brand of Deodorant?
15. Biggest regret so far?
16. If you were to write a fortune for a fortune cookie, what would it say?
17. Fave drink from Starbucks?
18. What one posession could you not live without?
19. Fave anorexic actress?
20. The one sweet/dessert you will never give up?
21. Favorite childhood outfit?
22. Chest Hair on a man: Sexy or Ewww?
23. Fave sports flick?
24. How often do you read your horoscope?
25. Where are you going on vacation this summer?
26. If you were arrested, what would the crime/charge be?
27. Favorite Celebrity couple?
28. Dog or cat?
29. Last book you read?
30. Hottest athlete?
31. Ugliest celebrity?
32. Favorite form of communication means?
33. Whay kind of condoms do you (or your man) wear?
34. Birds as pets-yay or nay?
35. Favorite period of American history?
36. Would you ever eat Rocky Mountain Oysters?
37. Tom Hanks-like him, or shoot him?
38. What American city (other than the one you live in), would you live in if forced to move?
39. Who is your muse?
40. How much money would it take for you to sit in a jacuzzi filled with shit for 10 mins?
41. Fave Horror movie?
42. Discuss the possible reasons Scotty "the Body" (HA!) is STILL on American Idol...
43. Did you ever play any sports? what?
44. Entertainment Tonight, The Insider, or Acess Hollywood?
45.What is your typical breakfast?
46. What's your sign?
47. How often do you really floss?
48. The best meal you cook?
49. Would you run a marathon?
50. We haven't had a young star tragically die in a while...who would you pick, and how?

SIGHTING: A Coat of Many Camels

Not to be outdone by Le Bean (twins are always in competition), I had a recent encounter with Mr. Jack Bauer. You got it-Keifer "hot ass" Sutherland. After spending much of the night at Tangier (lovely Moroccan-esque bar), our group was getting ready to go and all hit the toilets. I had exited the ladies, and could hear my friend in the men's across the way. I screamed his name to hurry it up, and then obnoxiously opened the door. To my pleasant surprise, Jack Bauer motioned me to join them. "Oh, I couldn't", I stammered. Mr. Velvet Voice echoed "nonsense", and I found my self pulled into the men's. I couldn't speak, lost my cool and just stared at him. Feeling like a complete idiot, I left to go have my own private freakout. Hot-ass Sutherland then saw me at the bar waiting for everyone and as he paid his bill his parting words were "Love your coat. It's very smart. It's camel hair, no?" And he left into the night, determined to save the world from nuke stealing terrorists...
Sigh.

Show you care

We here at Prairie Oyster are concerned with helping our universe, whether it animal, environment or people (actually, we could give a shit about people). Please take the time to visit these sites. Apparently, it is the season to club innocent seals in barbaric ways for their fur (J.Lo, watch out).
My sis did her good deed and helped feed an abandoned horse for a week. It's about the same cost of a movie for two. Or how about a monkey? I've always wanted to own one, and now you can help feed our closest cousins too! (Note to our readers: You are helping to feed the monkey. You will not get to actually own a monkey).
Now don't you feel better?

I'm Gonna Kill You: 10 Things People Do That Really Piss Me Off

by Miss Lizard

No need for witty prose. Let's get down to business:

• Escalator hogging: It's a concept people. Stand to the right, pass on the left. Isn't that universal? (this also goes for those people mover things in the airport, any staircase...Pretty much any public space that )

• Compact parking spaces: It says COMPACT for a reason. So get your gas guzzling monstrosity out of the spots reserved for itty bitty cars like mine. Sorry you have to walk a little farther-that's life.
  

• Spitting in public: WHY??? Do you really think I want to see your coughed up phlegm? I mean, when I'm sick I like to look and see what color mine is, but keep your mucus to yourself. Gross!
  

• Cell phone usage: I know, I know. It's the modern age and they are a necessity, but there are certain places you should not have a conversion..Do you HAVE to talk so loud we hear every word? It's like the louder you talk, the more important you feel. Keep convincing yourself, buddy. And what makes you think I want to hear your boring conversation anyway?? 'Nuff said.

• Catch Phrasing: Please don't latch on to the latest "in" phrase and then use it to death. Despite what you may think, saying "that's hot" to every thing I say is SO NOT HOT (sorry Paris!)

• Carry on Luggage: Why the airlines haven't cracked down on this, one will never know. Here's a little rule I use, and maybe it will help all you guilty travelers out there. If you are going on a trip where you will be gone for more than 2 days, I'd bring a bigger suitcase and CHECK it. Checking baggage is included, free of charge, to every passenger. So stop bringing your life on the plane with you just because you're too lazy to wait in baggage claim. Shame on you!!

• Babies: specifically loud, obnoxious babies. I don't own any yet, so I'm sure my view could change. But please parents-smack them around, get loud, whatever must be done to shut the screaming child up. Nanny 911, help!!

I could go on for days, but then I'd never get any real work done. Let's all share the really annoying, horrible things that just make you wanna just strangle someone. I'll feel better knowing my kind is out there. Strength in numbers. Oh mi god, that's so hot!